Romancing the Cheese
by Dixie Darlin
Summary: Pinkie Pie wants to throw Cheese Sandwich a Hearts and Hooves Day party to express her feelings to him. When Rarity tells her that is not the most appropriate way to win a colt over, Pinkie gets embarrassed and calls it off. Will these two crazy party ponies ever get together? Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

_MLP:FIM belongs to Hasbro and the Hub. And words cannot express the love I have for the Cheesepie ship. Title is a spoof of that old movie "Romancing the Stone".  
_

* * *

**Romancing the Cheese**

Pinkie Pie hopped joyously about Sugarcube Corner, going from one spot to another to hang up the heart-shaped streamers she had made herself. The Cake family had gone out of town for the weekend, so the pink party pony had the place all to herself. Normally she'd be sad that they were away, but this weekend she had some very special plans made.

"Oh Gummy, this is the going to be the most super-duper Hearts and Hooves Day in the history of _ever_!" she giggled as she bounced around in one spot, happily squeaking as she did so.

The toothless alligator simply stared blankly at her in response, not moving even a millimeter from his position on the pillow he was on.

"I'm so glad you agree with me!" she beamed at him, putting a little red party hat on him.

Pinkie sighed loudly and wiped her brow, taking a good look at all her hard work. Streamers, a decorative banner with "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day!" written on it in different colored letters, pink and white heart balloons, and a big heart piñata hanging in the middle of the large room were only a few things that made up the decor. It looked like the holiday itself had exploded inside the bakery.

"Oooh I hope he likes it!" Pinkie squealed, right as soon as she heart an "Oh my!" coming from somepony that had just happened to walk into the bakery at that time.

Pinkie swiveled around and grinned widely at her friend Rarity who was currently gawking at the decorations, her mouth slightly agape and her hoof held up against her heart as if she had just witnessed something monstrous taking place.

"Hiya, Rarity!" the pink pony greeted her as she skipped her way, not noticing the shocked look on the fashion pony's face. "I was expecting somepony else to show up, but I'm glad you're here because you can see all the wonderful, amazing things I did to the bakery, and it makes me really _really _happy that you get to see them too!"

Rarity picked up her jaw and put on a forced, yet anxious, smile. "Why...yes...well, it's definitely _you_, dear."

If that was intended to be an insult, Pinkie didn't catch it. "Aww, thanks! I worked super hard on it _allllll_ day!"

The purple-maned mare took a long, sweeping look at the bakery and suppressed a shudder. "I, uh, _do_ hope that whoever is the recipient of all..., "she motioned outwards with her hoof and made little circles, "_this_...appreciates your...um, efforts."

"I hope so too!" Pinkie started bouncing in place again, her eyes tight shut as she squeed. "Cheese is a party pony too, y'know, so he should _totally_ think it's the bestest, most awesome-tacular thing he's ever seen!"

Rarity fluttered her eyelashes a few times, then she relaxed her composure a bit and smiled more genuinely. "Oh, of course! I should have realized that you two would hit it off after planning Rainbow Dash's birth-iversary together! Darling, I'm so happy for you, finding your special somepony."

Pinkie suddenly got a very serious look on her face and halted her bouncing. "Wellllll...he doesn't exactly _know_ it yet...it's kind of a surprise!" She smiled and tapped her hooves against the floor rapidly. "And I really hope after he sees all the work I did to plan this amazing party, that he says yes!"

Rarity chuckled politely and threw her curled mane out of her face. "Well, I do hope that everything goes well for you, dear." She threw a quick unsure look towards what she considered to be ridiculously garish decorations. "After all, he _is_ a premier party planner. The one thing he should appreciate is a well-constructed party, especially on such an important holiday."

The pink pony gasped loudly, her blue eyes huge now. "You're right!" She threw one of her front hooves in the air and put on a determined look. "I must make this the best party ever! I must...use more glitter!" She dashed away upstairs to grab her containers of glitter before Rarity could stop her, then she speedily ran back down. "Silly me, glitter always makes everything better!"

Rarity grimaced at the gluey mess that Pinkie was making of a new poster, watching helplessly at her hyper friend putting glue and glitter on her hoofs to make sparkly hoofprints on the paper.

"I...was thinking that perhaps since this is a _romantic_ holiday," the fashionista pressed gently, "that your party should be more...I don't know, _romantic _also? Exquisite? Classy? With chandeliers and candle-lit dinners and slow dancing?" She possessed a dreamy look in the middle of her speech, imagining her own special night with all things that she had just listed.

Pinkie shook her head back and forth, her curly mane swishing as she did so. "Nah, that doesn't sound like a very exciting party at all! And besides, Cheese's 'cheesy sense' only works when a party is being planned, so he wouldn't know to come here at all if a party wasn't being planned!"

Rarity blinked, then she decided that she didn't really want an explanation for what Pinkie had just said. Instead, she sighed and gave her friend a worried look. "Pinkie, darling, aren't you afraid that this will...oh, I don't know...scare him off?"

Pinkie stopped making glittery hoofprints long enough to spin around and give Rarity a confused look, tilting her head and furrowing her brows together. "What do ya mean? Why would a party scare a party pony off? That doesn't even make any sense!" She started laughing at the very idea, falling on her back and kicking her legs in the air.

"That's not exactly what I meant," Rarity explained gently,a little peeved that she was getting laughed at, even though she knew Pinkie laughed at almost _everything. _"What I meant was sometimes when a filly tries too hard to get herself a coltfriend, that can sometimes scare him away. I should know, I've done it myself a few times." She muttered the last part under her breath.

Pinkie stopped laughing and flipped upright, sitting on her haunches and looking bug-eyed at Rarity. The dressmaker was much more experienced with dating than she was, so perhaps she should listen to her...

"Ohmygosh, what if you're right!" Her poofy mane and tail deflated slightly, a frown forming on her face. "The last thing I want to do is scare him, or anypony, away!"

Rarity realized she had hurt Pinkie's feelings, and she stammered around for words to remedy the situation. "Oh, n-no, don't get upset, dear, I certainly didn't mean to make light of your affectionate gesture!" She put a comforting hoof on Pinkie's shoulder. "I was just trying to warn you not to try _too_ hard. I'd hate for you to get hurt, if your plans backfired, that's all I was meaning."

The party pony didn't want Rarity to think that she had upset her too much; after all, the Element of Laughter shouldn't be making anypony _sad_, so she forced a big grin and popped herself back up on all fours. "Oh, it's okay, Rarity, you're my friend, and I know you're just trying to help me! Hey, what did you come in here for anyway?"

She mostly said it to get the subject of conversation of off _her_, and it seemed to work. Rarity's eyes lit up, and she said, "Good gracious, I almost completely forgot why I came here!" She requested a dozen gourmet oatmeal cookies, and she used her magic to float the cookies into her saddle purse while getting her bits out to pay for them. "Now, Pinkie, you're sure you're all right? I really didn't mean any harm."

Pinkie spread her grin out wider. "Yep, I'm perfectly fine, finer than fine actually!" She bounced a few times to get the point across.

Rarity didn't look overly convinced, but she smiled anyway and turned, trotting out towards the door. "All right then, tata, dear!"

"Bye, I hope you have a splenderiffic day!" Pinkie called to her cheerfully. When the door shut, she dropped the act and plopped down on her haunches again. She looked around at all the hard work she had done and sighed. "Rarity's right, Gummy, maybe I really am trying too hard. I don't want Cheese to be _afraid_ of me."

She sadly picked herself up off the floor and went upstairs to her bedroom, digging out her photo album from under her bed. She flipped past her photos she had of her trip with Applejack and her family and landed on a page that had her and Cheese having fun at Rainbow Dash's birth-iversary. She smiled very faintly, and she closed the book, shoving it off to the side before rolling over towards her pillows. Boneless, Cheese's rubber chicken friend, was propped up on one, and she grabbed him with her front hooves and held him up over her while she lay on her back.

Pinkie sighed and hugged the chicken to her, whispering, "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day to _me."_

* * *

If his Cheesy Sense was to be trusted, and it usually was, there was a big party being planned in Ponyville. The poncho-wearing stallion found this strange, as it had not been that long ago that he had been through there. How long had it been exactly? Two months? Three?

Ah, well, that didn't matter. Wherever a party was being planned, that's where Cheese Sandwich would go. Then again, he wondered if he should bother, since Pinkie Pie was Ponyville's resident party pony. He didn't want to accidentally upstage her again, like he had done last time. No need stepping on anypony's hooves, especially _hers_.

The golden-hued pony smiled under his sombrero at the thought of Pinkie. It had been a real pleasure to finally speak to his inspiration, as he had been much too shy to have done so way back when they were young. When he showed up into town for Rainbow Dash's birth-iversary, he had been rather eager to impress her with his party planning skills. That all backfired when she misunderstood his intentions and accused him of trying to steal her place in Ponyville and also her friends.

Maybe he should have told the truth when he first introduced himself. It would have said a lot of trouble and heartache on her part, for sure.

The more Cheese thought about it, the more he decided that he _would_ visit Ponyville. So what if Pinkie might be planning whatever kind of party might be going on? He could always use a vacation, and she could do her own thing while he was there. He had hoped for another chance to see her again anyway, so this would be the perfect opportunity.

"Saddle up, Boneless Two," Cheese addressed his _other_ rubber chicken friend, who was already sitting on his small saddle that was attached to his poncho. "We ride to Ponyville."


	2. Chapter 2

**Romancing the Cheese**

When Cheese arrived in Ponyville later that evening, he was surprised to see that not only was there _not_ a party being planned, but that most of the ponies were away from home celebrating Hearts and Hooves Day with their special somepony.

"I completely forgot today was a holiday," he muttered to himself as he moseyed around town. "You should have reminded me, Boneless Two."

Sometimes his Cheesy Sense would react to holiday functions, and Cheese usually stayed out of those as they were more often than not a private affair. He also didn't host weddings or royal events unless he was personally summoned.

As he walked, he noticed a few couples here and there, and it further reminded him that his travels kept him rather lonely. Sure, Boneless (and now, Boneless Two) were good company, but they weren't quite the same as having an actual pony to talk to. He wondered if Pinkie had a special somepony already, and if she were throwing a party for him. She would be the type of filly to do such a thing.

"I don't even know where she lives," he said to himself as he neared Sugarcube Corner. He felt his stomach growl, and he made a face, thinking he should've eaten before coming all this way. He at last noticed the bakery and decided to try seeing if they were open. He raised a hoof up and knocked on the door, hoping that he wasn't disturbing the owners…if they were even home.

* * *

Pinkie flipped off the bed when she heard the unexpected knocking, but she popped right up as if it hadn't hurt her in anyway. She tilted her head, making sure she hadn't simply been hearing things. When she heard another knock, she sighed and yelled,

"We're closed!"

Apparently they didn't hear her, because the knocking continued. Pinkie was sure that she had put the "closed" sign outside, but since she wasn't one-hundred-percent sure, she figured she better head down there and explain. Just because she was feeling under the weather was no excuse to be rude to Mr. and Mrs. Cake's potential customers.

Unfortunately, that meant going downstairs, and _that_ meant having to see all her decorations again. Hopefully whoever was at the door wouldn't see any of that. She was so embarrassed of it now.

"I'm coming!" she announced as she unlocked the door and swung it open. She dropped her jaw when she saw none other than Cheese standing there, who looked just as shocked as she was. "Cheese?"

"Pinkie?" he asked, a small smile appearing once his initial surprise wore off. "I didn't know you lived here! A bakery, ha! Who would've guessed that?"

The pink pony kept staring at him with this petrified look on her face, and without a word, she slammed the door in his face. Cheese leaned back and blinked, looking back at Boneless Two in puzzlement.

"Was it something I said?"

* * *

"Ohmygosh, ohmygosh, ohmygosh!" Pinkie kept chanting to herself as she came close to having a nervous breakdown. "What I'm going to do? He's right outside! Ugh, how did he even know to come? I guess that Cheesy Sense of his is stronger than I thought!"

She hopped to the window and peeked out the blinds to see if he was still there. He was.

"Ahhh, Gummy, what do I do!" She picked up her beloved pet and stared into his blank, purple eyes, not receiving an answer. "I can't let him in, he'll see all this…this…_stuff_!"

"Pinkie, is everything okay in there?" she heard Cheese ask her from behind the door.

While part of her was thrilled that he came out here, the other part of her was mortified. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry about the whole situation.

"Hang on, I'll be right there!" she screamed loudly as she panicked, chewing at her hoof as she tried to figure out what to do. Her eyes then popped open, and she sat up straight. "I know what to do!"

* * *

Cheese was growing rather concerned about Pinkie's welfare the longer he stayed out there, and that only increased when he heard a great deal of noise coming from inside the bakery. After a good half-minute of banging, Pinkie finally opened the door again, this time wearing a large grin.

"Sorry about that! Didn't want you to see the big mess that was left!" She tacked on a laugh at the end, a nervous one that she hoped didn't sound too fake.

"Gosh, Pinkie, I don't mind a little mess," Cheese smiled at her, though he appreciated the gesture, "but that was rather nice of you to go through all that trouble."

She smiled harder, her cheeks beginning to hurt. "No problem! Why don't you come on in?" She hopped backwards so he could come in, and she shut the door behind him. She cast her eyes around to make sure she had gotten rid of all the evidence that she'd been planning to throw him a party. "Soooo what brings you to Ponyville anyway?"

Cheese didn't want to admit that he'd dropped in mostly to see her, so he played it cool. "Oh, just passing through," he answered casually, taking a look around the bakery. "So you live here? Cute enough place." Cute like Pinkie, is what he _wanted_ to say, but he knew better than to say things like that out loud.

She giggled a bit and refrained from tapping her hoof nervously on the floor. "Yeah, I live here with the Cake family. They're the owners, but they let me live upstairs."

"Oh, I see," he nodded, before looking up at the ceiling. A humorous smile graced his lips, and he said, "Is that a giant heart piñata?"

Pinkie's eyes bugged out and her face went bright red as she stared at the looming heart hanging over their heads. She would have slapped herself in the face if Cheese hadn't been standing right there in front of her. How could she forget something so obvious!

"Oh! That?" she asked as if it wasn't unusual for it to be there. "That was left over from…the party that I threw the Cakes! Yeah, I threw them a surprise romantic dinner, and they wanted to save the piñata for later!"

She squeaked a grin, hoping that story was realistic enough for him to buy. Cheese gave her an unsure look, but he grinned back anyway.

"Sounds like they're real lucky to have a friend like you around."

"Thanks!" she replied back, getting a little nervous again as she looked into his lime green eyes. "Hey, so if you didn't know I lived here, why did you come anyway?"

Cheese almost forgot why he had knocked on the door in the first place. "Oh!" He grew a bit shy and avoided her gaze for the moment. "I was kinda hungry and thought a bakery would be as good a place as any to grab a snack from. But from the looks of things, it's closed."

"No, no, it's no trouble at all!" Pinkie hopped a few times in place, getting some of her spunk back. "You stay right here, and I'll find something super-dee-duper for ya!"

He couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. "Well thank you. I like anything sweet, so I'm not really picky."

"Okie dokie lokie!" she chirped at him, turning tail to dash into the kitchen to dig him something up.

Cheese chuckled again, shaking his head at how adorable she was. He decided to back up and observe the enormous piñata hanging above him, as that wasn't something he usually came across in most ponies' houses. In doing so, he didn't watch where he was going, and he accidentally stepped right into Gummy's basket.

The normally listless alligator did not appreciate this clumsy colt being in his personal space, not to mention it panicked him, so he leaped up and latched his toothless gums around one of Cheese's back ankles. When Cheese felt something hard and slightly wet hit his leg, he bugged his eyes out and slowly turned his head down and behind him. When he saw the small alligator chewing on his leg, he naturally flew into his own panic.

An embarrassing yell erupted from him, and the stallion instinctively bucked his back legs out behind him, effectively throwing Gummy off of him and flying him through the air. Gummy soared until he landed on a closet door, his feet latching around the knob. That was all it took to allow the overgrown closet to spill open, its contents pouring out like a massive tidal wave…which was heading straight for Cheese.

All he could do was stare in horror as the giant pile of heart-shaped items crashed on top of him, fully buried underneath. "Help?" he called out, hoping Pinkie could hear him under all the rubble.

Pinkie had heard the crash while in the kitchen, and she gasped very loudly. "Oh no!" she shrieked, galloping into the main part of the bakery. She gawked at the mess, mortified to see that the secret stash of hearts had been uncovered from their hiding place. "Cheese? Cheese are you here?"

A golden-tan hoof poked its way out from the bottom of the pile, and Pinkie immediately started throwing things off of him to help him up. "Ohmygosh, are you okay?" she asked him once he was out of the mess.

"I think so." He had to straighten his sombrero up, which somehow had managed to stay on his head through the commotion. "What in Equestria _is_ all this?"

He made a sweeping gesture over the pile with his hoof, and Pinkie made a face. "Uh…that was…stuff from the party earlier!" She forced a grin at him. "I had to clean it up real quick and the closet was the only place I could think of on short notice!"

The two of them stared at each other, with Pinkie's trying to convince him to believe her story, while Cheese gave her puzzled look as if trying to make sense of it. He glanced his eyes back and forth between the mess and Pinkie a few times, and then he closed his eyes and sighed sadly. He hung his head down, his eyes overshadowed by the rim of his hat.

"It's okay, Pinkie, you don't have to lie anymore."

Her face fell, her head tilting to the side in confusion. "Huh?"

Cheese found Boneless Two amidst the rubble and threw him backwards onto the little saddle he had on his back. "You don't have to lie to me anymore," he repeated himself quietly, still not looking at her. "I should've known that you of all ponies would have something special planned today, and I showed up without warning and interrupted whatever it was you had planned."

He began to tear up, but he forced them back and headed for the front door. "I'll leave you to have your Hearts and Hooves Day celebration with your special somepony. I shouldn't have come and made you think you had to lie about having somepony here with you out of some friendly obligation."

Pinkie simply stood there in shock, not knowing what he was talking about. She put two and two together and realized the misunderstanding, then trotted up speedily in front of him. "Cheese, wait, you got it all wrong!" she told him, putting a hoof to his chest to make him stop walking. "I…I…"

She sighed, trying to gather all her courage. "Truth is, I _did_ have a party planned in hopes that the recipient would be my special somepony as a result."

"Whoever it is, is really lucky," Cheese replied softly, taking another step forward.

Pinkie pressed a hoof against his chest again, insistent on finishing her story. "But the party was for _you_!" She gasped at having blurted it out loud, and threw both of her front hooves against her mouth.

Cheese stared at her with wide eyes, a blush creeping on his cheeks. "For…for _me_? You were throwing a Hearts and Hooves Day party for _me_?"

Pinkie started panicking, spitting out her entire story in nearly one breath while she rapidly tapped her hooves nervously against the floor. "I know it was stupid, please don't think I'm crazy, I just thought you'd like a party since you throw parties like I do, and then Rarity showed up and said you would think that I was trying too hard and would think I was some silly filly, and then I thought maybe she was right, and then you came unexpectedly, so I had to get rid of all the evidence and-"

She felt a hoof cover her mouth, this time belonging to Cheese. He didn't have to say anything for her to know that he wanted her to be quiet, but she was so anxious that she wasn't sure if she _could_ be quiet. Her stomach felt sick when he kept looking back at the mess of heart-related décor that had been puked on the floor from her backstabbing closet.

"You actually threw a party for _me_?" he asked her kindly, giving her a sweet smile. "I've never had anypony go through all that trouble for me before…usually it's the other way around."

Pinkie wasn't sure what to say about that. She swung her hoof back and forth, scuffing the floor gently with it. "So…does that mean you like it?" she asked him uncertainly, her stomach tightening as she waited for his answer.

Her aforementioned stomach dropped when Cheese donned a very serious expression, dropping his head down. "No, I don't."

Pinkie wondered if this was how Fluttershy felt all the time: ready to die of embarrassment. The curls in her mane and tail started deflate, feeling like an absolute fool.

"I don't _like_ it," Cheese repeated quietly, and then he picked his head up. "I _love_ it!"

He bounced up and threw his sombrero and poncho off to the side, revealing his yellow polo shirt he always wore underneath and his fluffy brown mane that was atop of his head. Pinkie blinked her bright blue eyes at him, taken aback at his sudden change in persona. Cheese started bouncing around quiet excitedly around the mess of hearts that Pinkie had tried so hard to hide.

"This is the greatest, Pinkie, I can't believe you thought I'd hate it!" he laughed as he picked up some of the streamers and wrapped them around his neck like a scarf. "You've seen my parties! You know I love crazy stuff!"

Pinkie shook her head and got back into the spirit of things, giggling at how silly she'd been being. "Sorry, I got all caught up in my friend was telling me about how these sorts of things are _supposed_ to be."

"Well, maybe _she_ doesn't like giant heart piñatas, but _I_ certainly do!" He wrapped some of the streamers around her too, making her giggle more. "And while we're being honest, the real reason I came to Ponyville was to visit you."

She grinned widely at him, her heart beating erratically. "Really?"

"Really!" he nodded at her with a smile to match hers.

She squeaked a laugh and was so excited about her plans working out in her favor, that she didn't realize that she had started hopping in place. So enthusiastic she was, she bounced herself high enough to accidentally bop her nose against his. Pinkie let out a little gasp when she realized what she did, and the both of them were blushing pretty heavily.

"Oops, sorry!" she grinned sheepishly at him, but she hushed up when he leaned down to gently bump his nose against hers in return. It wasn't a kiss, but it might as well have been one.

"Don't be sorry," Cheese said once he pulled away, and then did a half-skip to the side. "Come on, let's see what's inside that piñata!"

Pinkie squealed happily, absolutely elated that he liked everything. "You bet!"

* * *

Rarity had been going past Sugarcube Corner on her way home from her date that had ended early because he'd been an uncouth, good-for-nothing fool of a colt that had left her high and dry at the restaurant he was supposed to be meeting her at. In going past the bakery, Rarity had heard the sounds of laughing and an overall good time taking place, so she took the opportunity to sneak a peek inside, smiling at her friend having fun, and then went on her way home feeling rather warm inside.

Once home, she lay on her bed as her cat Opal lazed nearby. The purple-maned pony used her unicorn magic to make her pen write in the pages of the diary that the six friends shared with each other.

_Dear Diary, _

_Today I learned that romance isn't defined by the fancy trimmings, candlelit dinners, or dancing. Those are nice things to want, but they are not necessary to have. If you love somepony, you should love them for who they are. Everypony has their own way of expressing their feelings…what works for one pony, might not work for another. Love can come in all forms, and as long as the two ponies are in love with each other, that is all that matters. I hope that someday I find that special somepony that understands these things._

_With love,_

_~ Rarity ~_

**_The End_**


End file.
